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RULES of masculinity? Men take note of women to vote but you do not forget, this is meant to be funny or not? 1. Any man who brings a camera to a stag night be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers. 2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. 3. It is ok for a man to cry under the following conditions a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master B. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse c. After wrecking your boss car. d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into The Crying Game. e. If your date is 4 with the teeth If he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. 5. Acceptable excuse for not helping a friend move a. Your legs were severed in a freak threshing accident 6. Acceptable excuse for not helping move a friend of a friend's a. You'd rather stay home and watch Speed Buggy repetitions. 7. If you've a man for more than 24 hours is known, is his sister always taboo, unless you actually marry her. 8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a man whos running late is 5 minutes. Maximum wait time 6 minutes. For a girl, you have up to 10 minutes for each point of focus, they wait for the scores on the classic 1-10 scale. 9. Bitching about the brand of beer in a Mate's fridge is forbidden. Gripe on when the temperature is unsuitable. 10. No one should ever be needed to buy a birthday present for another man (in fact, even remembering your Mate's birthday) is strictly optional. 11. Take on a trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest. 12. While your girlfriend must bond with your mates girlfriends within 30 minutes of meeting them, you are not required to be nice to her gal pals significant dick-heads --- low level sports bonding required is the whole law (sorry ladies, as a double standard and we drew the short straw on that one). 13. As an obstacle to other people watch a sporting event, one can always ask the score of the game in progress, but we should never ask, whos playing. 14. You can only flatulate before a woman after they have been build up to. If you catch your head under the covers for the purpose of entertainment flatulence, shes officially your girlfriend. 15. It is permissible to drink a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach .... and delivered by a topless model ... and it's free. 16. Only in situations of moral and / or danger may occur *** you another guy in the balls. 17. If you're not fighting in prison, naked. 18. Friends dont let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed. 19. When mans a zip is down, that's his problem --- you didn't see nothin. 20. Women who claim they love to see sport is treated as spies until they know about the game and the ability, as much beer as the other sports drink to demonstrate an observer. 21. You need to provide a warm and public condolences over the death of a girlfriends cat, even if it you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan. 22. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight. 23. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last piece of pizza, but not both. That's just my level. 24. If you add a man on his six-pack, you'd better talk about his choice of beer. 25. Never join your girlfriend or wife in Dissen one mate for you, unless shes withholding sex to your answer. 26. Rates that can not be spoken to another man in weightlifting a. Yeah, Baby, Push it! b. Cmon, give me more! Harder! c. Another group, and we can hit the showers! d. Nice ****, you're a hunter? 27. Never talk to a man in a bathroom when you are on equal footing, both urinating, both in line, etc. For all other situations is an almost imperceptible nod in all the conversations you need. 28. Never allow a conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch, which hang from the telephone, if necessary. 29. You can not rat out a staff that has seen at work with a massive hangover. However, you can hide the aspirin, smear his chair with Limburger cheese, turn the brightness all the way down to choose, he thinks his monitor is defective, and him paged over the loudspeaker every seven minutes. 30. The morning after you and a baby who was once just a friend carnal Drunken Monkey have sex, the fact that your feeling weird and guilty is no reason for them not again before the discussion about what was a big mistake to nail .
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